Danger – Keep Away

I said in a facebook status the following words: “Welcome to the European equivalent of Vegas. What happens here stays here... Unless it's hilarious in which case I'm telling everybody.”

So remaining true to the above statement, I will report on the appropriate experiences.

First of all a special thankyou to my Dutch friend Mitch who let me stay with him for the week and showed me round. Always good to have a local on your side.

But when you think Amsterdam, you imagine city centre, immersed in the party life 24/7. Nope; whilst we spent a lot of our time in the city, Mitch lived outside the city by about 30-40 mins. Not only that, the suburb he lives in isn’t exactly on the DFAT’s safest travel destinations. How do I know? Some houses had electric fencing around their property. Low socio-economic status, a lot of flats, and crime rates. Needless to say I was a little nervous about staying there let alone commuting to and from the city alone (which I rarely did).

But I made it through alright, although I didn’t think I would when this happened:

We’re walking through the city streets in the wee hours of the morning on our way to another cool square full of bars and clubs and people.

Background: In Amsterdam you can legally buy and smoke marijuana and hashish, and may have truffles (which contain shrooms). Ecstacy, heroin, cocaine, MDMA, etc are illegal. However street vendors exist and if you want some (and quality isn’t your primary concern) you can get your hands on it relatively easily (also if you don’t mind diesel laced drugs).

Back to the story: I spot some vendors on the street corner – they’re not hard to spot. I say to Mitch “hey there’s more drug dealers again” (they hassle you as you walk by to buy some of their fine quality baked fresh today produce).

So I’m expecting us to walk straight on past them. Instead, as we walk past Mitch goes up to one of them and asks “Hey do you want to buy some drugs”. In other words, offering the drug dealers some drugs.. as a joke. Now I’m all up for fun and pranks, but when it’s 3am on a deserted street in a foreign country, and 

you’re messing around with people already on edge because of their illegal drug dealing activities, you can’t blame me to think “wait a minute.. this could end badly”.

There’s afew of them now, telling us to piss off. While the rest of their buddies are closing in around us. Some even call out for the police (which is ironic since they’re the ones with the drugs, not us). So as they’re circling around, I just pull Mitch to the side and say as calmly and politely as I can “let’s get the F&*# out of here”.

And we hauled ass out of there.

A love song in every language

So you’re in Cologne, Germany for one more day; what’s the logical thing to do? Mini golf. Yep good, we’re on the same wave length. We’re bike riding to this mini golf place and then disaster strikes – Police helicopters circling above and flying low. Police cars parked about and police inspecting the area. Turns out someone jumped from this bridge we were riding across. Ambulances, choppers and police all around the Rheine searching for the jumper. He was fine. Just thought he’d go for a dip. Kidding, we think we actually tried to kill himself or he was just drunk/high.

Anyways, he came out pretty much physically unscathed and slapped with a hefty fine from the Fuzz, and we got to our game of mini golf.

Surprisingly I came 2^nd (you might be assuming here that there were only two players – to which I say firstly “screw you”, and secondly, no there were 5 of us so this is truly a great feat for me who rarely ever plays mini golf or normal golf).

This was followed by a very chilled out evening of sitting out on the balcony, listening to Radiohead and pink Floyd by candlelight and having an extremely deep philosophical conversation til the early hours of the morning. Got up the next morning pretty tired and had to pack to head to Amsterdam.

** EDIT - Forgot to add that whilst playing our intense mini golf game, there was a movie being filmed in the area. We were getting very much into our game especially when we sunk hole in ones. We went CRAZY. We were told off several times by the set crew. See picture below. We were also included in the background of some scenes so if all of a sudden my acting career takes off, you'll know why.

Das Geht Ab

Lots of bike riding – pretty sure I got my exercise quota for the year here in Cologne. Saturday night we headed to this local beerhouse (Cologne’s full of them) and we were running late taking a scenic route so we hauled ass to get there and was so exhausted that I downed the first beer super fast. I think when the body is exerted it’s also a factor influencing how fast you get drunk.. or maybe I’m just a lightweight.. but we had afew beers there and a sausage with bread. Anyways, we took the bikes to get to the next bar and there I was again slightly drunk and riding a bike – never a good mix especially on people-filled streets. Don’t try to outdrink Germans… ever. We had a great night though, played pool, foosball, had a cocktail, plenty of beer, and ended up at some student club playing such classics as Mambo no. 5, Get Lucky, and everything in between. Even got into some German pop music.

Yesterday’s activities was probably one of my many favourites though – we took the bikes out for a 30 min ride to a popular Lake where many people go and where festivals are held as well. It was packed! A huge lake, filled with locals, since not many tourists know about the place. It was great to have a swim, relax in the sun and listening to pink Floyd and daft punk (sprinkled with some dubstep) since we had brought speakers like many others. Truly worth the bike ride over there… though I didn’t think so when we had to ride back home.

That night we also went to see the cathedral light up in moonlight, and had a relaxing night ride by the Rheine. My legs are aching from this trip. Holiday? Nah, weight loss regime. All the walking and now the intense bike riding.. I’ll be fit as a fiddle soon enough.

I still have today left in Köln, going to Amsterdam tomorrow by train. My favourite cities so far though have got to be tied between Prague and Köln.

Until next time, stay warm in Melbourne, and stay cool in Europe.

Life in the fast lane

First of all, being greeted with this sign should say it all! (see below).

I met three crazy Germans in a strange aligning of the stars situation. I went camping in Torquay earlier this year in January. There I was with my friends minding my own business in the camping ground kitchen, and in walk these guys – Max, Simon and Anthony. Well, we gets-a-talking and we play afew drinking games with them, next thing we know they’re on their way to Melbourne in a weeks time after the camp. We had a great time, took them out to bars and clubs round Melbourne town and really wreaked havoc. Long story short, they were from Köln in Germany, so here I am now. Visiting this beautiful city cos I met these crazy guys back in Torquay.

And they’re definitely returning the favour – showing me round the local hotspots, keeping me slightly inebriated or “socially lubricated”.

As soon as I get in the car from the airport they hand me a bottle of Kölsch, local Cologne beer (delicious stuff). We had plans to go to this party in the park at some dedicated party house. Sounds good right? Oh right, I didn’t say that I flew in at 10:45pm! We rushed home, dumped the suitcases, had another beer at home, finished a bottle of cheap but delicious vodka on the walk over to this place and needless to say by the time we got to the party, I was as “socially lubricated” as can be.. “socially drenched” if I may..

We moved around abit throughout the night – started at that party then moved on to other bars and clubs, afew more drinks and there may or may not have been tequila involved. We got home at about 6am. You know when you look up at the sky at some point in the night and realize it’s very light to still be night? Yeah that definitely happened..

So what’s the logical thing to do after such a night out? (besides doing it all again the next night) Sleep in and have a quiet day… no chance. We got up at about 12, had breakfast and pulled out the bikes and rode into the city. Keep in mind, I haven’t ridden a bike seriously since 2006. And here I was, riding on the road in another country driving on the opposite side of the road and still slightly drunk from the night before. Needless to say I wasn’t in the best state. I may have even gone up the wrong side of the road when turning at intersections.. oops.

We went for a nice bike ride along the Rhein river and into the city centre. Went to the Cologne Cathedral. Keep in mind, I’m still not feeling the best at this point, regardless we climbed the cathedral in sweltering heat and epic dehydration. Apparently the Köln Dom has the second-tallest spires and largest facade of any church in the world, so you can imagine how many spiral steps there were to get to the top.

Still, was a great sight to see, and I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed a refreshing milkshake as much as I did after coming back down and sitting down at a café nearby.

Köln to be continued in the next post..

Somewhere back in time

Prague was a beautiful city – the perfect mix between sexy architecture, pumping nightlife, cheap drinks, good looking locals, etc. I was surprised at how many jazz clubs there were.

I will say though, one thing we found out pretty soon after arriving at the train station from Vienna is that Prague spells absolute DEATH for any wheel-based suitcases. So many cobblestones and mixed with broken pavements. I’m surprised my cheap ass ALDI suitcase made it through in one piece.

I also have gotten so sick of the damn Danube. After seeing it in Budapest, Vienna and again in Prague, it wasn’t anything special in the end. Although I think I preferred it in Prague. We had an apartment right next to the river too. Great location. Thank you airBNB!

Great music all around too - We went about three times to this one beer garden place right on the Danube which had a 1-2pc band set up and playing old classics – heard rolling stones there, led zeppelin, oasis, pink Floyd, red hot chili peppers, basically a paradise for people like me.

I also went to this jazz club which had a free gig on – a 3pc band, acoustic guitar, violin and bongos. Sounded amazing!

I also managed to befriend a local or two, and got the inside scoop on places to go things to do in Prague. Very friendly locals, though I have no idea why – each night round the city square and neighboring bars and clubs are screaming inebriated tourists on some pub crawl or some contiki tour. Pretty obnoxious, and I’m proud to say that (especially in Prague) we avoided the tourist hot spots (in terms of night life) and discovered hidden gems with the help and guidance from local friends made on the trip.

On the last night, speaking of music, we checked out a bar called “James Dean”, obviously a themed tribute to the 50s actor. It had cool 50s memorabilia (like couches made out of old cars… tires plagued the ceiling, and quotes from the man and the legend covered the walls) and to top it all off, some great music from the time. Johnny B Goode, Tutti Frutti, etc. There was lots of twirling, and twisting. They even played some Boney M.. I never thought I’d ever hear that in a bar and dance to it in this day and age.

But whilst there were some great times in Prague, it carried a certain sadness along with it as it marked the last time the mischievous four of us would be together for another 6 months (when I arrive back in Aus). So there were some tough farewells and goodbyes, but we jam packed our time to the max with activities all the way from sightseeing, to having a beer or ten in the soul-warming sunshine.. wow what a poetic mood I’m in..

Overall Prague was my favourite so far….. then I arrived in Cologne.